It's a New Day!

No. 44 welcome. I've waited for a new president since Bill Clinton stepped down. I'm glad you're here. Let's begin:

HOPE

I've got big plans for our country. And I'm 'hoping' that Obama doesn't let me down. Can he? Yes he can. Will he? I don't know, only time will tell that. Let's start at the beginning. Obama's victory back in November made me so very happy. Of course, I admit I voted Obama. It was a no brainer. I was thrilled that he won the election. I was uplifted by his victory speech, an inspiring speech that made me proud to be an American at this specific crossroads of our country. The following day I went into work. Work, the place where any Obama celebration is banned. I secretly smiled and did happy dances in the copy room when no one was looking. That is until Proposition H8 passed in California blowing the happy wind right out of my sails. Apparently "Yes we can" - except the gays. (sigh)

HOPE

So the holidays come and go. As did a medical issue which could have been very serious, but wasn't. As all horrible possibilities go, once I found out everything was OK, life just simply moves on. No big band shouting that "ryan charisma is healthy" - just business as usual. Thank God. Then comes the inauguration. Douche bag Rick Warren was chosen to pray at the Government ceremony. Why? WTF? Obama, did you use me? Am I that easily expendable that you would cater to this motherfucker and piss all over the people who supported you? This, as far as I'm concerned, was the first 'taint' of our new era in government. I, once again, felt left out. I had to either make peace with his selection or declare Obama a mistake before he was even sworn in. In my own best interests I decided that if this was the ONLY bone he threw to the religious nut bags, I could live with it, while never forgetting that he fucked us once already. I moved on, and hoped for the best. I hoped because that's all I have left politically. I have been waiting for this for a long, LONG time. My boss, of course, still having a "no happiness regarding Obama" rule, not only made the entire office work on inauguration day, but on the previous day (MLK holiday) as well. So beaten and down, I go to work with my newly confirmed healthy body angry. Angry that I'm the only person who has to work on MLK day. Angry that I have to sneak happiness about our new president. But most of all, angry that I'm going to miss the historical swearing in of Barack Obama live. So what, right? I'm an adult and I move on. I wake up on inauguration day excited. Today is the rest of our country's life. Everything changes today. Will the new president put the religious fundamentalists in their place? God I hope so. Will he declare that proposition H8 is wrong and the people who supported it are not his kind of people? God I hope so. Will he chastise the health & drug companies for bleeding American of their money for so long? God I hope so. Would he basically 'bitch slap' the haters and greedy people into reality? I won't know because I have to go to my place of employment where Obama is banned. Mind you, it's not a written rule that Obama is banned, it's understood. Our whole office knows, just don't talk about him and/or politics. So we don't. I sat listening to the swearing in on Internet radio. I was thrilled to hear him sworn in. And as far as screwing up the oath. So what? I don't think that amounts to a hill of beans. But now, now I was going to hear MY new president speak. His first speech as President of the United States. His speech failed me. Not a bad speech, but certainly not inspiring or motivating. I know he didn't write it on the bus on his way to school, but that's how it sounded to me. It wasn't a bad speech, but not a good speech either , it was just a speech. Obama had set the bar so high for himself that he failed me with his speech. I was let down. Where's the bitch slap to the religious kooks? Where's the mention of gays being treated unfairly? Where's the inspiration he charged into his past three speeches? It was a speech whose talking points I totally agreed with, but it didn't charge me up. I wasn't inspired. I wasn't impressed. As a matter of fact he could have had his daughter Sasha read it and it would have had the same effect. Good points, no passion.

HOPE

So within minutes of Obama's swearing in the White house web site updated with Obama's plans for the lgbt community. I found the website more inspiring than Obama's Inaugural speech. Please Obama, give me back my hope. I'm tired of hearing that this will not be fixed in one year. We were told that when 9/11 happened, and here we are 8 years later. So now we're hearing it again. I don't want to wait a LONG time. In fact, I'm not some 20 yo who can wait a long time. Life is short and my rights shouldn't be behind the economy & wars. I didn't break any of it. I made sure my life isn't paid for with credit cards. I go to work everyday and have an excellent work record. I live a very green life to help save our planet. I never supported the war and look forward to it ending. All I have left is hope Mr. Obama. Hope in you. Hope in your administration. And hope that the rest of America wakes up and does the right thing. I'm saddened. Yesterday didn't brighten my day the way I expected or wanted. It was, due to my workplace, just another day with just another speech. But I won't give up hope, as I said...it's all I got.

HOPE

Billy Elliot THE MUSICAL

I LOVED IT! Last night Evan, Jeffrey, Mr. Adam & I went to go see Billy Elliot on Broadway. This show was really good. The dancing was stupendous. The 3 hour show was so well directed & acted. How can anyone not love this feel good show? I don't know. This is a must see for everyone. The cast is huge. Broadway has cast 3 different Billys for the show. Our Billy was played by David Alvarez. He was great. Stellar performance for a kid.

The show is very emotional at times dealing with life topics. Wants, desires, jobs, love & death. I was misty. Yes, my icy heart melted slightly, but I'm back and here to tell you. Go see this show. Specifically the dream ballet when Billy dances with himself as an adult. I was Billy. I related to Billy. I wanted to soar and fly from my problems into beautiful world constructed just for me. This show is good, this show will win awards, this show will play for a long while.

"ryan charisma are you going to purchase the CD?" Well, I already have it actually and no I wouldn't. The show isn't anything I would play just to hear. The music really belongs in the show. It's really part of the show and has very little toe tapping, sing along numbers.

GO SEE THIS NOW!

DOUBT

Last Sunday Evan, Jeffrey, Mr. Adam & I went to go see the movie Doubt. I know, I know, you're thinking "ryan charisma, didn't you see that play on Broadway?" Well, yes and Mr. Adam & I loved it. So off we went to see the movie. Meryl Street was phenomenal in this movie. She was everything I remember the nuns to be. Not so much evil, as fun hating. Regardless the movie was adapted for the screen and directed by the playwright. I can definitely imagine Ms. Streep being nominated for her performance this year. It was that profound.

My only issue with the movie version of this show is that when I left the Broadway theater after the play, I didn't know what the truth was. And I didn't think one argument was stronger than the other. In the movie version however, I feel that the priest was given more. You sided with him a little bit. Perhaps it's because you got to see the "other" characters in the show? I don't know, but I didn't have that "what really happened?" feeling after the film. But Streep is SO good, you should see this film if only for her, but I promise, you'll like the whole movie none-the-less.

MILK

Wow. That's all. Wow. This movie, and we all know the ending, was great. A must see for gays, and a bigger must see for non-gays.

"My name is Harvey Milk and I'm here to recruit you..." What a service this man did. I really, really liked this movie. Were the 'sexy 70's' whitewashed? Sure, to a degree, but the message in the movie is loud and clear. VISIBILITY. Did you read that? VISIBILITY. I was moved to tears several times in this movie, and none of them have to do with Harvey Milk's demise. It was great to see functioning, flourishing gay couples, who loved openly and honestly through poverty, gay ghettos, bathhouses, drugs, bashings & legislative hate. And none of these things stopped these relationships from being.

"No more pot & bathhouses for me and my honey..." Harvey Milk stopped his and his boyfriends average gay Joe life to run for office. I had no idea he lost his first few runs at office. This man Milk, did what I always felt I should have/could have done. He won an office and began making a difference in his own people's life. Today one could never admit that he was a pot smoking, sex club attending, porn reading gay. Could I admit that today? Of course not, I'm not into porn really. But seriously, in today's day and age, the Christian Reich would have a field day digging up dirt on a man like Milk. A good hearted man like Milk.

Sean Penn. There I wrote it right there. Sean Penn was fascinating to watch. His performance was stellar. He had the gay nuances down pat, his speech pattern was totally changed. I'm so proud of his portrayal of a gay man. Usually I hate when straights get the good gay roles and the real gays get to play the nut jobs, zany best friends or psychos. But Sean Penn ruled. I honestly can't think of anyone else who could have played this role. I don't know if Sean will win an Academy Award for this, but damn - he sure should be nominated.

I really liked this movie and urge all of you to see it. And on the big screen. The movie speaks to not only the gay community, but the the straight community as well. A MUST see movie.

Watch & learn kids, watch and learn...