Seattle a/k/a "My Bust"

Well, my beautiful pieces of flesh. I’ve returned from Seattle and I’ve got a tale to tell. Let’s start at the very beginning, a very fine place to start:

Thursday: After half a day of work and a quick champagne toast Sam, Michael & I jumped in our town car and sped off toward JFK Airport to catch our 6pm flight to Seattle, WA. Now, be advised, I’m not a big fan of flying to begin with, so this LONG flight was terrifying to me. I took a Xanax. So guess what? We sat on the plane awaiting take off for 2 hours. Finally at 8pm we took off and landed in Seattle around 11pm (Seattle time). We were supposed to be there at 9:30pm. Those bastards at American Airlines. My conclusion, after sitting in those tiny airline seats for what seemed to be an eternity, is that I’ve decided I’m top heavy and need a breast reduction. Poor Ryan Charisma was so sore because of his heaving bosom. Sure the boys like it, but my back and shoulders were killing me. So there is probably going to have to be some sort of charity event supporting my breast reductions surgery so I can fly comfortably. Moving along, we met up with Jason after Sam basically had to undress and throw himself into the street to catch a cab. Cabs in NYC are easy, but no where else. So by the time we were all settled in, chatted and caught up it was time to go to sleep.

Friday: (SAM’S BIRTHDAY) We awoke early and had our first cup (of many) of Seattle coffee. This was going to be my demise at some point. But one is not aware of the traps of coffee until they’re already trapped. It’s like a low key heroin. After we all dawned our daytime vacation attire; we set out to see Seattle. What a great city. It’s slightly too spread out to walk everywhere, but it most definitely walkable. First stop, a small 'mom & pop' coffee house. They had a pumpkin spice latte that would knock your socks off. I regret not getting the name of this place, but we were on a mission. Our afternoon was set to be filled at the Seattle Experience Music Project. This was so cool. I’ll repeat that. This was so cool. We spent hours and hours just wandering through original costumes of famous rock stars (mostly from the west cost). Who knew Jimmy Hendrix was so petit? And are you aware that Nancy Wilson of Heart was actually thin at one time? Who knew? I sang in a recording studio and learned 3 chords on the guitar. It was a blast. I really liked it. Lastly, we got to see “The Eastsiders” perform live. They rocked the house. Also, we took in the Double Take exhibit. I adored some of the artwork. I’m a huge fan of paintings and photography. Great exhibit!

Now my favorite time of the day, lunchtime. We ate at a staple hamburger joint called “Dick’s”. It was the most affordable fast food burgers I’ve ever had. Now I know, I know you’re all thinking “Ryan Charisma, you don’t like fast food do you?” Well, yes it was fast food, but for the amount of time I eat fast food, I didn’t mind eating there. Not to mention, the burgers were good! I’d definitely eat there again. Then we proceeded to shop vigorously ending up at Pike Place Market. You know the place, where they throw the fish around. Remember? That was interesting as was HUGE. I never saw such fresh fruit, flowers & veggies so inexpensive. So VERY inexpensive. I bought a lovely bottle of local wine as did Michael and Sam bought some shrimp. We then went back to Jason’s and Sam prepared lovely Scampi. It was delicious, as was the local wine.

Now it was time to head out to test the waters of Seattle’s Gay Nightlife. First off let me say – it’s alive and well. We ended up going to a club called The Cuff - it was fun. So very not like NYC at all. Everyone seemed to get along and they were at the club to have fun. It didn’t seem to be a huge hook-up scene. People were there with their friends just hanging out. I must warn you in advance I noticed something strange though. Most of the men in the clubs were not my age. They were either in their early 20s or on the other side of 55. Strange, right? As for drinks, when we ordered them they came back HUGE, Michael inquired why the drinks were so big and the reply was “All our first drinks are doubles.” Now I know some people that would truly appreciate that. Right Sam? All four of us decided we really liked this club. So then we moved along to the Seattle Eagle. Well, it was really fun as well. It was a bit divey, but the Eagle had a lot of the butch boys hanging out there. What both of these clubs had that I personally appreciated was outside patios. They make club going so much better. A chance to get outside and cool down after dancing.

Saturday: Well, morning arrived early (as it did all weekend), and I wanted to hit the gym. Jason dropped me off at the local gym Epicenter. I went in ready for my $15 one day work out fee and they said, “go work out for free” – So, I did. You may ask “Ryan Charisma why did they let you in for free?” I do not know. But perhaps it’s because of my world renowned “towel dance” I do in the steam room? It’s akin to the dance of the seven veils. None-the-less, it was a great gym. Thank you Epicenter. Next we pulled ourselves together and set off for lunch. Jason took us to a great gay restraint in Capital Hill (gay section of the city) called Broadway Grill. I highly recommend it. It’s got great food, and the prices reasonable. They had a great crab & spinach dip! And the waiters there are good looking.

Then we did gay-boy party shopping. And if you don’t know what that means let me explain to you, my little puddles of love. That means we needed to get ourselves little masks & assorted party clothes to wear out for our Halloween celebration later that evening. It was very tiring and after a few hours, it was disco nap time. We all zonked out for a good hour and a half. And we needed it. Then we were to get ready for our night out. We decided to return to The Cuff. Good choice, it was mobbed and was having its Halloween Party entitled “Alice in Wonderland.” We had so much fun. We danced, met people and of course had a small drink or two. The people in Seattle were so into wearing costumes and did them 100%. When the night got late, we stopped by the Seattle Eagle again. Sam seemed to take a liking to that place for a nightcap.

Sunday: I woke early and jumped in the shower; Michael followed suit. By 7am we left the apartment for a coffee shop while the others slept. We chatted and had some serious coffee. By this time my being a recreational coffee drinker was coming to an end. I don’t think caffeine is anything to play with anymore. Regardless, Michael and I brought back some java to Jason and Sam. After a leisurely morning we decided to go out and see more of the city. We shopped and I bought fun underwear and we had a lovely Mexican lunch. I love Margaritas.

Our last evening out, and we hit some of the clubs again. They weren’t as buzzing on Sunday night, but that’s ok. We were getting tired by then and needed to call it an early evening anyway since we had to be up at 6am for our flight back. Well, we did it. And now I’m here to tell you. I liked Seattle, I really did. Jason was a great host. Thank you Jason. And I couldn’t have picked better travel companions.

But it’s good to be home as I was missing Mr. Adam allot. I was so happy to see him. As I always am.