The Gay Mafia & I

OK kiddies, I was requested to share another one of my "you won't believe my life" stories here on the blog. I'm not one to share too much personal stuff, but here it goes.

Approximately 5(ish) years ago my friend Jason (through a series of unfortunate events) found himself living on the floor of the offices of a notorious underground sex club here in NYC. He would sleep on the floor by night, and by day, barter his computer networking/web design skills. Sadly, this was good for him. Jason had, shall we say, an issue with Crystal Meth (Tina). So after months of living in this (purposely nameless) sex club's offices, Jason began to listen to conversations happening in the offices. He heard things, and thought he heard things, that made him uneasy. Mostly things pertaining to himself. Bob (the owner - not his real name) would say he didn't want Jason around anymore, why pay him and have him around all the time. Jason heard they were planning to "get rid" of him. As the cackling twinkie meth heads who worked in the office would discuss Jason too. Jason knew too much. Mostly things about the sex club, how it was run illegally. Where the money went. E-mails that were saved. Passwords. You get the picture. Now can I say this is true? No. What I can tell you is that there is some truth to all of this, and the information Jason had was real. Jason, one night in a fit of Tina induced terror, fled this sex club. But he locked down their hard drives by encrypting them and password protecting them and whatever else a networking expert can do. And only he had all the passwords. Jason in this flee had left most of his belongings behind in this sex club.

Fast forward a few weeks. Jason shows up at my apartment banging on the door. "You have to get out of here. You need to be gone tonight." "Why?" I ask. He then proceeds to tell me... He pissed off the wrong people, in negotiating with the sex club, and had corresponded with them from my home computer. I said "So? You didn't use my e-mail." And he said "No, but these people can get your IP address easy and show up. You, your roommate & the dog have to get out of her for your own safety. I wouldn't forgive myself if something happened to you." "Shit!" I think to myself. "What the fuck did you get into now?" He then explains that these people mean business, they're the dealers in the nightclubs and sex clubs and they are the GAY MAFIA. I was like, "oh yea, riiiight." He then said he made a list and handed it to me in a plastic/wax envelope. So as not to have fingerprints on the paper. This list consisted of all the low level drug dealers, the middle tear drug dealers, the sex workers & people who were making illegal money at this illegal sex club. Full names, phone numbers & e-mail addresses. I saw this list and handed it back to him and told him I want nothing to do with this and he was scaring me. He then told me I have to keep the door locked at all times and I have to keep the list as an insurance policy and with instructions that if anything happened to him, I was to bring the list immediately to any police station. "Fucking A" I'm thinking "how can you drag me into this?" I don't do drugs, I certainly don't go to illegal sex clubs. And I don't know anyone on the list. So I hid the list. No one would have found it. But the 3 of us (my roommate included) knew exactly where it was in case of emergency. I then told my friend that he needed to go home and trust that I won't be attacked in the middle of the night. I slept with one eye open for the following two months.

Needless to say, nothing came of this. I don't think Jason got his money, and I think the sex club has been shut down here in NYC. As for the list, it lasted for years in it's hiding place. That is until I moved a few years ago, which was years after Jason moved out of the city. I destroyed it. I wanted nothing to do with any of that. And Jason, he kicked the Tina. I'm very proud of him for that. But I'll never forget how the gay mafia was going to find me.