A Four Letter Word

Hey my petite cupcakes! My friend Michael invited me to join him and his friends to see the premier of A Four Letter Word here in NYC last Friday night. At this showing, the cast and crew were in the audience. Ya wanna know about this new gay flick? Here we go!!!!! Wheee!

This movie had some great punch lines. The characters were all people we meet in the village. The locations that this film was shot in were many popular gay establishments. Any gay worth his salt will recognize at least Vlada, The Dugout & Posh - for beginners. Of course these places were called other names in the film.

The acting in the film was good. My only complaint is, I could really tell the first few initial scenes that were shot. I could tell the actors weren't comfortable in their roles yet; and the scenes looks a little rag tag. But there weren't that many of these scenes. All of the "stereotypical" characters were there. The overweight fag hag, the anti-gay gay, the sex driven twinks, and our favorite: they gay liar. You know him, he lies about important, non-important and everything in between. We've all dated one in our lifetime. I found the slice of gay life in this move somewhat souped up, but not too far off base. When I watch these types of films I find myself reeling at what is/isn't realistic. So here are my two cents:

1) With all the sex going on in this movie; no one touched up HIV. Now I realize that this movie isn't an HIV movie. But when the opening scene is a gratuitous pee-pee shot of a 4-man orgy aftermath; and the main character has sex with any & everyone, I just think someone should have mentioned either his HIV status, safe sex or something...?

2) People who work in Christopher Street style card/novelty/sex toy stores don't make enough money to afford their own apartment. That's just a fact. A glaring horrible, unfair fact, but a fact none-the-less.

Did I like the movie? Yes, I did. Were the men attractive in it? Yes, they were. Were the straights fairly represented? Yes, in the form of one straight soon-to-be-wed couple. Oh and everyone had issues: alcoholics, drug , sex addicts and the list just goes on and on. Please if only my friends had their lives together enough to go to group therapies. If half of them even.

Regardless, this movie is a definite must rent. Full price in a theater? Nah. and you certainly don't want to own it on DVD. Rent it. It's the most 'bang for your buck!'

What I'm Worth...In Bed

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Harvey Fierstein said it best

from "Torch Song Trilogy"

Ma. What? You think you walk into a room, say, “Hi Dad, I’m Queer,” and that’s that? Believe me, if I’d known I wouldn’t have bothered. God should tear out my tongue, I should talk to my child this way. Arnold, you’re my son, you’re a good person, a sensitive person with a heart, kennohorrah, like your father and I try to love you for that and forget this. But you won’t let me. You’ve got to throw me on the ground and rub my face in it. You haven’t spoken a sentence since I got there without the word “Gay” in it.

Arnold. Because that’s what I am.

Ma. If that were all you could leave it in there (point to bedroom) where it belongs; in private. No, you’re obsessed by it. You’re not happy unless everyone is talking about it. I don’t know why you don’t just wear a big sign and get it over with.

Arnold. (bordering on hysteria) I don’t know what to say to you. I really don’t. I’m not trying to throw it in your face but it is what I am and it’s not just a matter of who I sleep with. (crosses to her) Ma, try to imagine the world the other way around. Imagine that every movie, book, magazine, T.V. show, newspaper, commercial, billboard told you that you should be homosexual. But you know you’re not and you know that for you this is right…

Ma. Arnold, stop already. You’re talking crazy.

Arnold. You want to know what’s crazy? That after all these years I’m still sitting here justifying my life. That’s what’s crazy.

Ma. You call this a life? This is a sickness! But this is what you’ve chosen for yourself.

Arnold. (deep breath, one last try) Ma, look: I’m gay. I don’t know why. I don’t think anyone does. But that’s what I am. For as far back as I can remember. Back before I knew it was different or wrong…

Ma. You have not heard on word I’ve said.

Arnold. (losing control) I know you’d rather I was straight but I am not! Would you also rather I had lied to you? My friends all think I’m crazy for telling you. They’d never dream of telling their parents. Instead they cut their parents out of their lives. And the parents wonder, “Why are my children so distant?” Is this what you’d rather?

Ma. But it doesn’t have to be our every conversation.

Arnold. You want a part in my life? I am not going to edit out the things you don’t like!

Ma. (scared) Can we end this conversation?

Arnold. No. There’s one more thing you’ve got to understand. You made fun of my crocheting before. You think it’s a cute little effeminate thing I do. Let me tell you something; I have taught myself to sew, cook, fix plumbing, do taxes, build furniture…I can even pat myself on the back when necessary. All so I don’t have to ask anyone for anything. There is nothing I need form anyone except love and respect. And anyone who can’t give me those two things has no place in my life. (breath) You are my mother, and I love you. I do. But if you can’t respect me…Then you’ve got no business being here.

Ma. You’re throwing me out?

Arnold. What I’m trying to…

Ma. You’re throwing me out! Isn’t that nice? Listen Mister, you get one mother in this world. Only one. Wait. Just you wait. (Ma exits to bedroom…)

Crane Collapse

Disaster! So Saturday afternoon I'm sitting at my fabulous Mac Pro with Evan filling up his new iPod with music. Suddenly, out of my bedroom window I hear a huge, horrible noise coming from nearby. Evan jumps up and says let's go see what happened. "EXCITEMENT" I think to myself and and thank God above that I had already showered and dressed in case I needed to be on television as a eye-witness to whatever lay in store. Who knew? Evan guessed a crane fell, I guessed a huge car pile up. Adam wanted to lay on the sofa. So Evan and I venture off with cell phones in hand.

On the way down in my elevator, I'm suddenly realizing that I don't like gore, blood nor guts. And if this is a huge car pile up I may not be able to handle it. My excitement, had slowly transformed into fear. "I hate blood & guts, I hate blood & guts" I chanted slowly as we approached the corner of the street where 2nd Avenue had 'just stopped' and people were staring. Being a true New Yorker, I bobbed and weaved amongst the stupid, standing gawkers (who didn't know what was going on either) with Evan along side. "what's going on?" we asked. "A crane collapsed." someone replied. But we didn't see anything. Eventually I looked up and saw the piece of crane leaning against the building. Horror swept over the crowd. Then, began the sirens. We were there first. Then a barrage of cell phone calls and pictures. By this time the crowd was getting bigger & bigger. Evan & I decided to go to my apartment building's roof. I took these pictures. Terrible & Horrible, that's all I can say.

Dina Martina

"Check it out!"

Scott, Dr. John, Evan, Jefferey, Mr. Adam & I went to go see Dina Martina last Saturday night. I do believe it was the best show I've seen Dina do. I laughed so hard I thought I would bust a stitch, and for those of you that know me. You know, all I do is have stitches these days.

Dina was in rare form doing what appeared to be a "greatest hits" tour. Her spaghetti version of "You Gotta Be," was just as fun the second time I saw it. "And a very special friend of mine requested that I sing this next song for you, and it's going to be difficult because,... I don't know it, but..." were the edgy drag comedy that she brought to the show. I'm a fan.

I'm pretty sure this NYC run has ended (but she's in NYC 1-2 X a year) , but if you're vacation in Provincetown, MA or ever in Seattle where Ms. Martina resides, you should most definitely have a drink and "Check HER out!".

Ms. Madison

Everyone, I've got sad news. My good friend Sam's dog Madison has died. Sam & I lived together here in NYC for the past 6 years and Ms. Madison lived with us. Sam has had her for 13 years. She died last Saturday after loosing her ability to walk and hold her faculties. She went down hill quickly and she'll be missed.

I found out she was not doing well late Saturday morning when Sam called me saying he was on the way to the Veternarian in PetTaxi. She was dehydrated and went immediately into a coma when she was put on an IV. Sam was brought in and the Dr. told him that she won't live, and does he want to end her suffering. According to Sam, there was no choice - she was miserable. He was given some alone time with Madison before she was 'put to sleep'. Sam loved her dearly and I believe she loved him as well. She was a good dog, a little difficult to live with, but a very good dog none-the-less.

She knew many people in her full, long life and she always was loved. Good bye Madison, go play in heaven.

I'm Listening Too

Rep. Sally Kern, R-Oklahoma City

sallykern@okhouse.gov

Thanks to joe.my.god

Young Frankenstein - the musical

Last Saturday matinee Michael got Mr. Adam & I tickets to see this year's talk of Broadway... Young Frankenstein . I know, I know, you're all thinking "Ryan Charisma, I thought tickets were crazy priced over $300/ticket!" Yes, yes that is true. But the prices as of last week have been moved down (and I use the term down loosely).

OK, so first off, I love the original Mel Brooks' movie. That being said, this show follows it perfectly. Well, except for the dumb Dracula ending, but that's a dumb sight gag that doesn't belong anyway. So what do you get for your hard earned dollars in this production? Well, I'll tell you. Not much. The sets were fabulous, really they were. The costumes were fun, but nothing earth shattering. The performances were great, I'm a huge Sutton Foster fan anyway. I adore Megan Mullally, who is not used enough in this show. Dr. Frankenstein is played by Roger Bart, he's OK. I didn't love his performance, but I didn't hate it either. I guess, all in all, he brought nothing to the show, yet he didn't detract from it either. Not a compliment for "lead character" but I didn't cast him.

Overall, I would say, this show is not a must see. Of course, anyone who has read any review of this show knows it's certainly not worth the ticket price. But I can't help wonder, why with all that talent on stage why the show isn't better? Why? Apparently, this show was supposed to have the huge success that "The Producers" had on Broadway. Not this time Mr. Brooks, not this time.

Eastern Promises

So gather 'round everyone, Momma got a movie to tell ya'll about. Eastern Promises was a good movie. I usually don't go for the "Russian" mob movie thing. But my dear friend Viggo Mortensen was in it, so Mr. Adam, Michael & myself decided we should rent it last Friday night. It was good...gross, but good.

Like all mob movies, there were the good guys, the bad guys and the guys who are sort of good, yet they're bad guys. You know? So what did I learn about teenage slavery/prostitution, guns, Russian prison tattoos & borscht. That I don't want anything to do with any of it.

Here's the story, teenage girl, forced into prostitution, get pregnant - dies, but leaves behind her diary. Enter, everyone else. Who did it? Why? Will they do it again? And can you trust anyone?

Good movie, you see Viggo's pee pee, in a huge fight scene that takes place in a Russian steam room. But it's such a violent fight that you really can't enjoy the gratuitous nudity. Sad really. Definitely rent this & have pizza. Not borscht.